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Fault

I am Rhea 30. 

I fell for Chris when I was 23. He was wonderful for the first 3 months, but then with time he changed. He started getting a real controlling - possessive man. 

We were on a living relationship, few months later to it he started putting different limits where I was not allowed to talk to my friends or even have a day out. 

The love for him was so strong that I never questioned his decisions. His commands used to be my actions. 

I did recall the change, the very first 3 months were the best throughout my life but then everything started going downhill. 

Later, I was given names, I was called a bitch, a slut. Night abuses were on a rapid increase. Many bruises were kept hidden.

Every time I asked him the reason for his change, he would with no second thought portray me the guilty. The usual abuses made me believe that for some reason I was the actual problem and my fault was the reason for this drastic change in his behavior. 

I was always left out crying for hours and sometimes even days. Chris always accused me for cheating on him. I would never cheat on him. I was an orphan and the only love I had was for him. 

This behavior of him was the later outcome. 
The initial change used to be his mental tortures where he would shout at me, push me, slap me and later he would act as if nothing was wrong. 
This used to be so much confusing to me. 

Was I actually the one with the fault? 

Why was he so much into my things? Going through my every social media, messages, different profiles and then the hand making a way direct to my back with a hurting mark had become usual. 

Once in a blue moon he used to have a subtle behavior, he would shower the love until his satisfaction level was reached and then after making-love the usual Chris would show up. 

I was being a toy, the usual abuses and the sexual harassment was on its height. 

I was losing myself. I had become more like a dead soul who was gifted with brutal beatings. 

Chris, the love of my life had changed. My love for him was really strong that I never cared about myself much. 

Everything has its limit, eventually the boundary level is reached. Likely to this, I had to free myself. 

I never wanted to leave Chris.
But it was getting late and the graveyard gates were about to close. 

I believe he would forgive me for everything. 

SAAIL POKHREL 

  

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